Once upon a time, we were broke. And I spent some of our last money on goggles. Three pairs, to be exact. I had four kids in swimming, and they all needed goggles except for the boy.

They were nice goggles, which lasted longer than they would have, since we quit swimming a few months later.

One by one, they started breaking or disappearing. First, my younger daughter broke her fancy goggle strap. Then she lost her goggles.

I started swimming after my kids quit the swim team. I had my own goggles, which I constantly adjusted while I swam. This came in handy while I was building up my stamina. I’d swim a 25 and stand at the deep end and defog or adjust my goggles.

After a few months of that, I started using my daughter’s goggles. They were cool, Nike goggles with fancy straps that didn’t constantly come loose. I wore them for years.

And then they mysteriously disappeared. Goggles are light-weight and easy to drop undetected. I hope whoever found them is getting some good use out of them. They were metallic shades. ..

My younger daughter wore my goggles at a friend’s above ground pool last week. They have disappeared.

Then my middle daughter’s goggles lost their integrity. The plastic by the nose is holding by a thread. She doesn’t wear them if she isn’t desperate.

So, yesterday, before the swim test, I broke down and bought my oldest daughter a pair of goggles. And. .. myself. I mean, I can’t start swimming again without goggles.

During the swim test, the little children were swimming. They tried for a while without goggles, but then my middle daughter came and used her big sister’s goggles, and the younger daughter actually took the baby goggles out of her baby sister’s hands. I saw how much they will actually try to swim if they are wearing goggles, so I broke down today and bought them both a new pair of goggles.

I was lamenting having lost so many pairs of goggles with my older son. He had no sympathy. “Goggles are like socks, Mom,” he told me.

Did you hear the one about the man that ran out of the courtroom trying to escape judgment? He jumped into a river and drowned.

That really happened a month ago in Florida.

The moral of the story? Either, you can’t run away from the long arm of the law, or. . . you should really learn how to swim.

prolly both